Sample
Chapter:
We have already learned what type of approach works with women.
They want a man to approach them in a friendly manner with a warm
smile. They would also like you to make eye
contact right away and maintain that eye contact. Most women
would like you to come up to them from the side in a gentle yet
strong fashion. Some even like a gentle touch on the arm
or shoulder.
Well, now you're there standing in front of them looking into
their eyes
with a smile on your face ... what do you say?
That's exactly what this chapter is devoted to. You will
get tips and hints on
starting a conversation, keeping
a conversation going, persuading women through your
conversation, and much more.
Avoiding
Rejection:
The most important point, when first trying to start a conversation
with a woman, is that she wants to continue the conversation after
you have given your opening line.
This is done in two steps.
The best way to get her to continue the conversation is to first
open with a leading question and
then turn into a good listener.
Asking a leading, but pleasant question is much easier than you
may think.
Though this is basic and easy the
results are phenomenal. There are three ways to ask
these type of questions:
1.
Ask her questions that will appeal to her interests.
a. If you're at a club, ask
her if she likes the band. After she answers, either yes
or no,
ask her what other type of
music she likes. This is an open ended question that leads
to further conversation.
b. Use the same technique
if you are at a park or an athletic event. After your initial
question, ask an open ended
question.
2.
Ask her questions about her hobbies.
a. This is most useful if
you are meeting women at special club meetings, art galleries,
shopping malls, etc.
Remember, always, after you ask a yes or no question, use that
information to
formulate and ask your open
ended question.
3.
Compliment her in some way and then turn her answer into an open
ended
question.
a. You could say something
like: "your hair is really shiny what type
of shampoo do you
use?"
To keep the conversation going say "I've
tried that shampoo, but have you ever
tried
rinsing with egg white? My sister uses it and it does wonders
for her hair." Don't
say something like "Your
body makes me hot and sweaty babe!" Compliment her
hair,
her eyes, or her clothing.
Make sure she doesn't feel like she has to return the
compliment and make sure your
compliment is non-threatening.
Here's an example of a non-threatening compliment.
Let's say the woman is wearing a sweatshirt with a University
of Arizona emblem
on it. Say something like;
"That's a great sweatshirt. Do you
go to the U of A?"
In this example you have given her a sincere non-threatening compliment
and
opened the door for more conversation.
That's the next point. After giving her a
compliment, immediately follow up
with an open ended question. By doing this you
accomplish two things. First,
she doesn't have to respond to your compliment. Many
women fear getting compliments because
they don't know what to say afterwards and
they feel they have to give one back.
Well, with the way you give your compliment,
followed by an open ended question,
this fear or uncomfortableness is eliminated. The
second thing this type of opening
accomplishes is to break the ice and get a
conversation going. She could
just give you a simple "no" to your question. If she does
you can elicit another open ended
question or find another woman to approach. Not
every woman is going to be responsive
to you or even like you. It may not even be your
fault. You might just remind
her of someone in her past or she just may not like the way
you look. So what! Who
cares! There are plenty of other women who will be very
responsive to you. Don't let
one or two or even three rejections get you down. Let's
face
it, you probably don't like every
woman you meet either.
Do you get the idea? Ask a question or compliment her in
some way to elicit an
answer and then use that answer to
ask an open ended question to keep the
conversation going. Don't give
her false compliments. Women said the number one
thing they hate when a man first
approaches them is a false compliment. They do like to
be complimented though, especially
if you are sincere about it.
After you have asked your open ended question, you must immediately
turn into a good listener. This is the easiest technique
you can use to keep a conversation going. Women respond very well
to a man who has an empathic ear and is willing to let them
express their opinions and views.
The best and easiest way to be a good listener is to genuinely
want to hear what
the woman has to say. If you
are really listening you can pick up on key phrases and
words that you can then turn into
questions to keep the conversation flowing. A simple
compliment about her hair, with your
response about your sister, can lead to a
conversation about family and then
that can lead to her career expectations and so on.
See how one small genuine compliment
could keep a conversation going all night. But
to keep it going you must genuinely
be listening to her so you can catch the key phrases
and words to ask questions back.
How will I know what the key phrases and words
are? Well, listen for excitement
in her voice and watch her facial and body movements.
When she is excited about a subject
she will want to talk more about it. Also, genuinely
listening to her helps you decide
whether you want to continue a long term relationship
with her.
Another vital aspect about being a good listener is to show expression.
Don't be a blank faced listener. Keep good eye contact with
her. Smile, nod, or raise your
eyebrows when she does or when it's
appropriate. This lets the woman know you are
truly listening to her and more important,
that you're truly interested in what she has to say.
One point you must remember though, is don't ask her a lot of
personal questions at the beginning of the conversation.
Getting personal is great and it shows you sincerely want to get
to know the person, but at the very start of the conversation
you
should ask surface questions only.
Then you can work your way to more intimate
questions through your responses.
Another great way to get a conversation going with a woman is
to ask her for
help. For example, if you are
in a bookstore, ask her if she has read a certain book or if
she knows where to find a certain
book. This is also a fantastic way to get to know a
little more about her interests.
Women won't find it weak if you ask them for help. It's
just
the opposite. Women find it
appealing when a man can admit he doesn't know
everything and he is willing to get
help from someone else.
Always make sure the woman you are with is the center of the conversation.
As you are asking questions about her reveal little things about
yourself. This shows you
are willing to let her get to know
you too.
For example: "Yeah, I like that band too,
I also like soft rock, especially after a
hard day at
school/work. What do you like to do to relax after you have
had a very hard
day?"
See how you let a little about yourself out as you ask her another
question about
herself to keep the conversation
going. You are also starting to get more personal with
her. This shows you want to
know more about her. After all, what do people like to talk
about the most, but themselves or
their accomplishments. It is a good idea to repeat
back to her simple phrases she has
said. This lets her know you are hearing her and
not just listening to her.
An example might be: "Oh you do like Elton
John, so do I,
especially
his older music. Have you ever heard his version of Leon?"
Remember, a conversation is a two way street. Besides being
a good listener
you have to be a good speaker.
Keep your conversation simple and easy. Don't try to
impress a woman with lots of technical
talk about cars, work, or sports. Talking about
these things will come in time.
The woman will most certainly tune you out if you begin to
bore her or she doesn't understand
what you are talking about. That's why it's best to
keep the conversation going with
questions about her. As we said earlier, you can
reveal insight about yourself as
you are answering her questions and asking new ones
to keep the conversation going.
The woman will also find you much more appealing, no
matter what you look like, if she
can easily talk to you without feeling uncomfortable.
Don't cut her down for her opinions,
especially if they are different from yours. Ask her
why she feels this way and tell her
she has a good point and so on. If a woman can
easily listen to you, understand
what you are saying, and feel free and comfortable to
express her views, feelings, and
opinions, she will be very attracted to you.
Be sure the inflection of your voice suits the conversation.
Women don't like or
listen to men who have very loud
boisterous voices. They like a man with a strong sexy
voice that is riddled with gentleness
and sensitivity.
Try not to let the conversation die. Good friends can have
long periods of silence and it's not even noticeable, but silence
in a conversation with a person you've just met can be very awkward
and a real turn off to a woman.
Let's sum up what we have learned so far! The very first
thing is to forget about
your looks. What you should
be concerned with, the most, is being clean and well
groomed. Don't wear ratty
or dirty clothes when you go out to get a woman. Remember
women's main physical concern, with
men, is that they are clean and don't smell bad.
Now that you're dressed and ready to go, where should you go to
find women?
Well, most women say they like to
meet men that have the same interests as they. So,
my best advice, to you, is to go
someplace that interests you! For example: an art
museum, a hobby store, shopping malls,
a night club, concerts, etc. This way if you are
interested in what you are doing
you already have half of the battle won. You won't really
be at a loss for conversation.
Just talk about what you are doing at the place you are at.
Remember how to get a conversation going with a woman; approach
her slowly
and with a warm smile, make and maintain
eye contact, give her a sincere compliment
and ask her an open ended question.
You should then turn into a good listener and use
her answers to ask her questions
to keep the conversation going. Don't get too
technical about cars or sports etc.
with her right away. You don't want the woman to tune
you out immediately.
"Let
her do most of the talking through answering your questions.
Be sure to
reveal insight about
yourself too. Women want to know who you are, but they
also want to
be the center of attention and the conversation, just as you do
when someone is trying to get to know you better."
"A
Real Guide For All Men About Women... by Women!"
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